Tuesday was test day.  I prayed hard.  I studied hard.  I was super excited about this test-it was fun and fascinating!  I took the test and failed it.  By 1 point.  Those are the worst.  What's even worse-I really felt like I knew the material--I knew a ton of answers on the test.  What went wrong?  Why can't I seem to pass tests--even easy electives?  I study just as hard (sometimes I think harder) as anyone else.  Afterwards, I kept trying to thank God and rejoice...because that's what we're supposed to do.  I just don't quite feel it yet.  I don't understand why I can't seem to finish my degree.

Today, I feel defeated and stupid.  I don't know what to do.  I canceled my math test because I honestly don't think I have a chance (took a practice test) & I am having trouble gaining courage to go in and take test after test after test and fail them.  It's hard to face them again and again.  I continue to push myself and the result?  Feeling a bit burned out.  What's the point of continuing on--there are so many other things I would rather do!   I'm being honest here instead of keeping a stiff upper lip.  Sure, I'll be fine--it will just take me a little bit.

I'm not sure what to do.  I can somehow attempt to muster up enough motivation and brain power to take math next week and pass or fail.  Either way, my enrollment is up.  At this point, I could let my enrollment run out and work on my last two courses as I have time and finances available.  I have an academic appointment set up with TESC to try to work out something, but right now, I just feel lost.

Anyway, I have wedding music to work on, a house to clean, and food to prepare for company this weekend.  Brian's coming in 2 days and that's going to be a huge bright spot.  Don't worry, I'll recover.  I'm fine, really.  I think.  I would love to understand why and what will happen, but God loves to teach us to wait and trust.  It's sunny outside now and it's supposed to snow!  Another rainbow and silver lining.  All that to say, life is hard, but life is good.  Let me say that again.  LIFE IS GOOD!

Blessings on the week!  Try to spread a bit of our Father's sunshine around!

Smiles!

When I woke up this morning, the outside world was strangely silent.  I looked out my window, and this is what greeted me:






Sorry for the bad quality...  But you get the idea.  This is an early storm--I do believe we are in for a winter of surprises.  Hey!  I just got the best idea!  Maybe Brian will get snowed in here for a few extra days--wouldn't that be nice?    This snow is the good kind, too; wintry mix-great for packing and playing in.  The difference between snow here and snow in Texas is that I don't think about going out and playing every time it snows...there will always be plenty more. 

Have a lovely day, folks!

One year ago today, God decided to change the course of my life by sending me a very special person.



Smiles!