A Study on the Classic Addiction of the Dlrow

            It has been said that naught in the Dlrow binds people together so much as does a Common Enemy, be it Adversity, Affairs, or Addiction, and that evokes such intense emotions as Love or Pain, Joy or Anger, Hope or Malice, and Laughter or Tears.  To complete a thorough study on Topics such as these would require an eternal dose of Patience, Interest, Time, and Resources, all of which are in great demand in the Dlrow and not likely to be produced in any great quantity; therefore, this study shall pursue only that Common Enemy known as Addiction.  Not merely all or indeed any Addiction, as that would be a trial too tedious to be borne, but rather, the Addiction.  The Addiction has long been studied by the Great Minds of the Dlrow: Scientists, Physicians, Anthropologists, Psychologists, Sociologists, Politicians, and Clergy, as well as all other persons that belong to the Pursuits of Lofty Madness, and as of yet no conclusion as to the Whys and Wherefores of said Addiction have been reached.

            The Addiction, disguised in the form of a Shrine, loftily resides in nearly every Public Location and Room in the Dlrow, and is found specifically in the Abodes, Offices, and Eateries of the Populace.  These Shrines are primarily black and shiny box-like structures and range in size from small, as cookery pans, to large, like a buffalo.  Furthermore, these Shrines also appear to either rest upon an elaborately decorated glass, marble, or engraved wooden structure, or to be encased and mounted upon a wall as the well-preserved carcass of a wild animal might be showcased.  Among several of the older and less elegant Shrines protrude metal rods that emerge from its head for the apparent use of contacting some sort of alien life form. 

Garbled noises, accompanied by flashes, bangs, unrealistic shadowy objects, or sweet strains of the native music emanate from within the unfathomable cavities of the Shrines.  Even more remarkable is the innumerable variety of visual array; one merely has to turn an acorn-like knob, and behold! what wonders manifest from the black box: lectures delivered by the wizened seniority, festive dances performed by ritualistic court jesters, tribal Olympians surrounded by crazed and painted warriors, and pantomiming, petroglyphical troubadours that remark upon the daily phenomenon of the Populace.  Noisy petroglyphs designed to entice the Dlrow with its flashy trinkets and baubles create a most disturbing scene every few moments.  It is also necessary for the Shrines to be fed, and they are satisfied when a flat, round disc is inserted into its skinny, wide mouth and promptly devoured, only to regurgitate its food through the Shrine’s face, much to the amusement of its native oglers.

These worthy Shrines are not reserved exclusively for the social elite, but also pertain to every social class and generation, a characteristic that makes this social custom intriguing and unlike other native customs.  The Populace, unable to avoid the Shrine’s call, daily bow to its every Whim with a ceremonious Dedication that the most sanctimonious priest would relish.  In fact, the most dedicated Populace have developed a peculiar, incurable malady known as the Couch Potato, a name spoken in hushed and mysterious whispers and the specifications of which remain a conundrum.  The inhabitants of the Dlrow sit enraptured by the glamour of the Shrine and readily bow to its ability to visually transport its viewers to Dlrow’s unknown.  This Shrine, this god-like deity, is able to transcend all social classes and generations as it engages the five senses of the Populace and uses this as its mechanism for control.  To observe the effectiveness of the Shrine’s control, one has merely to watch the natives as they are provoked to tears, laughter, silent indifference, gluttony, or indignation portrayed as the natives leap from their seats with shrieks and a shake of the fist.

As the blind leads the blind, it would appear that the inhabitants of the Dlrow will continue to dwell in the wiles of their Shrines, a custom that will both enthrall its scholars and entertain the Populace.  It is to be hoped that this review of the Shrine’s mysterious habits will assist all future social classes and generations to understand the Whys and Wherefores of the great Addiction, although the use of such knowledge is précised in the immortal words of the revered Solomon,

All things are full of weariness; man may not give their story: the eye has never enough of its seeing, or the ear of its hearing.  That which has been, is that which is to be, and that which has been done, is that which will be done, and there is no new thing under the sun…Because in much wisdom is much grief, and increase of knowledge is increase of sorrow (Ecc. 1:8-9, 18).